Aerina held the blade of her sword, holding it so tightly that the sharp weapon drew her blood. She watched her blood flow for long moments. Then held the sword's hilt, turing her weapon so that it's point was aimed at her belly. Like every day since she had fallen in love with the Champion of the Platinum Fist, Thandric ut Chandralice, she was pondering if she was still worthy of life, or if she had betrayed her Master beyond redeption. Like every day, she was torn between loyalty and love. And like every day in the past week, there was a demon that disgraced her beyond all forgiving, that maddened her. That actually made her descision easier. But love was strong. The choice was still to come.
"Sweet stupidity, sweet dear girlie, sweetness of suffering pains in the heart."
The voice was a beautiful one, matching that of any Siren, entrancing, really. And it was the voice of a succubus, but not any succubus, but rather the queen of those lusty demons that could bring complete chaos upon any man-ruled realm. And that voice was one of the many reasons why Aerina simply wished to end her life. That voice. That annoying, convincing voice that she couldn't speak up against. That voice, belonging to somehting she was not allowed to harm. That she was forced to obey.
The demoness laughed. "Oh, now thinking of death's kiss? How about I give to you? Sweeter than any kiss your knight in shining armer could ever give you."
Aerina believed hat would be true. But if she'd take her life, she'd take it herself. And not let that filth take it.
The succubus stepped up to her, walked past her, slid a hand through the blackened knight's hair in a way that made Aerina tense. That false love. That false love was sickening and frightening. It fooled her body. It drove her mad. But she stayed discipined, and didn't move otherwise, neither did she speak a single word.
"Sweet dear dreadful stupidity. Sitting here. Don't you want your knight in shining armor to return? Don't you want to see your knight in shining armor again? That sweet fool. That good-tasting fool. That lusty, blinded, human fool of a pack of peasants. Don't you want to see him again?"
Aerina closed her eyes, the grip on ehr sword tightened. A soft touch slid past her cheek, then her neck, then her shoulder. She shuddered at its familiarity. But she knew the words to come.
"But oh, yes, you wait, you wait, you wait and he does not come, because he is lost, he is dead, through my hands, through my sister's and daughter's hands, through the hands of his own, through your hands. He will not come back, sweet bitter blackness of a fool. He will not come back to save you. So why not die to join him?"
There was a soft kiss on her neck. She reflexivley gave in to it, even if she knew from where it came, even if she knew it was not as true as it felt. Oh blind darkness, she wished him here...
"But I lie, don't I? I lie to you again and again, and I lie tenthousand times more, because the lie can't be proven to you. But if I am truth and let you wait here and be here, giving you unneeded hope, oh what furious glory will come when he sees your dead body? And you will know you've taken your own life, and he will know you have taken your life as you had bid a thousand times before... oh wil he be enangered or in sorrow? Will he not care or attempt to avenge? And what about your soul? Will you have served the Dark Lord, or yourself?"
A hand slid from her shoulder down to the point where the sword rested on the cloth seperating it from her own skin. There was another kiss, and she was held. All she could do was shudder, wanting to resist, but wanting not.
"Sweetness, beautiful fear, confusion and terror. Darkness' mind and Darkness' will. What is the true way? What is that what you wish? What you vowed?"
The blade of her sword was pushed away. She opened her eyes, seeing the demon's clawed hands taking it carefully from her own, weak, pale ones. She couldnt' resist the force. She watched the blood on her sword, not her own, but the demon's, the black blood that could drive a mortal insane. Sweetness. Blackness. Death.
"But you know, deep inside you know, if there just wouldn't be that blinded heart, would it?"
Aerina was pushed down on to the ground, where she had been forced to all too often, forced to look at the demon's face, perfection beyond that of any other creature she had heard of or seen before, even if it was formed in a way of perfection that showed both impossible beauty and could create nightmares. But Aerina had been raised in a nightmare. Aerina was not terrfied by the looks of this creature. She was reather terrified by the fact that she was helpless, and this creature was just as she looked like.
Beautiful. Dangerous. Perfect.
A kiss found it's way on her resisting lips, and all struggles were stopped by the strong body of the demoness. Helpless.
"Beauty of fear and terror. Beauty of disgrace. Beauty of a fallen one. Beauty of dishonor. Bautiful Aerina, daughter of darkness, named light and heaven. Prove me your suffering. Show me your downfall."
And as every other time before, all resistance was of no use as the Succubus did as she wanted, both to her mind and to her body. And as every other time before, she was left and abandoned in a lonley place, curled up to a miserable heap. And as every other time before, she looked at the sword fed with drying blood, and thought it a wonderful thing to use it to just end her life.
So, weak and shivering, as every other time before, she sat up with the spark of strength left in her body, lifted the sword, and set its tip on her own belly, staring at the waterfall before her, hearing the sweetness of a serene voice behind her whispering, and feeling the sword's tip slowly passing through her skin and drawing a drop of blood.
And as every other time before, she wondered with every heartbeat, every breath, every sight, every feeling, every passing moment, if that would be her last.